For too long now my boyfriend and I have covered the story of how we met with pathetic lies. “How did you two meet?” my aunt asked, completely unaware, over Easter dinner. My boyfriend and I exchanged panicked glances. Does she know? How? What was our cover again? “Uh…through a friend,” I explained. The friend cover was a popular story of mine, but I had several prepared in case of the dreaded question. “Our eyes met across a crowded dance floor and we just knew!” “We both ordered the same thing at our favorite coffee shop!” “We were lab partners in school and found we had chemistry both inside and outside of the classroom!” Keeping up the charade is exhausting. I’m coming out with it once and for all: I met my boyfriend on tinder and our relationship is GREAT.
The (completely not romantic but true) story of how we met
He messaged me on a Sunday night. It went something like this:
Him: Hey chick (insert small chicken emoji here)
Me: Hey, what’s up?
THAT’S IT. Cue music and the happily ever after.
We chatted some on the app, shared a few mutual interests, and I gave him my number. The next Thursday he asked if I wanted to go get some drinks with him downtown and since I had nothing else to do and was familiar with the area, I agreed. I met him at a gas station (not creepy at all) and we rode together in his moms van (also not creepy) downtown. Let me explain, I live close to downtown and didn’t have any transportation, not to mention it was raining, so I asked if he was willing to pick me up. I realize it sounds like my parents completely forgot to teach me about stranger danger, but I did take some precautions. A friend knew where I was, who I was with, and we had a set time she would call the cops if I didn’t respond. Still creepy, yes, but I’m not completely careless, right?
He was driving his moms van because his car was in the shop that week and he had to borrow hers. Looking back, it still seems pretty risky to jump into a strangers van so willingly. I remember thinking at the time “What am I doing with my life? This is it, I’m going to die in this van.” But, there was no turning back, and today I’m thankful I climbed into that van. We had a great night together, by far the most fun I’ve ever had on a first date.
It’s no fairytale.
I hate the shame that is so commonly associated with people who met through dating aps. A lot of my friends tell me they would never do that. They say they would rather meet people “naturally,” but what truly is “natural” in this day and age? It’s 2015, Tinder seems pretty “natural” to me. To each their own, but I see so many of my friends struggling to meet new people and find someone with similar goals. Tinder seems like a great way to expand your reach with potential matches (literally) and to be straightforward about intentions. My favorite thing about Tinder is that you can be clear up front on what you are looking for in a partner. Also, since you have the ability to communicate with your match via messaging, you can decide for yourself whether they seem worth meeting. That way, if you do choose to meet, you already know some of the things you have in common.
So far I have met only a few people with successful Tinder relationships, but I hope to see that number grow with the increasing popularity of dating apps. If you’ve been having difficulty meeting new people, I highly recommend Tinder! What do you have to lose? Give it a try! Happy swiping!
As a twenty year old, I get mostly raised brows when I mention I live with my boyfriend. My boyfriend I’ve known less than one year, no less. “Oh, how’s that working out…” my old friend asks, her eyes tinted with judgment. “Is everything okay?” a coworker asks me every day as I come in for my shift, as if the ball is constantly waiting to drop on my relationship. The National Center for Health Statistics claims that one fourth of women move in with their partner before the age of 20 (source). Despite this, there remains to be a stigma about moving in at such a young age. Certainly, maturity is always a large factor. Some people mature faster than others. Also, many couples (young and old) move in together for the wrong reasons. I’ve decided to lay out, once and for all, the logic that lead me to co-signing a 12 month lease agreement with my boyfriend. Hopefully this can assist you in your own decision or shed some light on the madness of it all.
I lived in a house with two roommates, both whom I considered close friends (at least, when we moved in…but that’s another story). The house was located in the heart of downtown, which was great, except it was majorly overpriced. The house was old and dumpy, not to mention had a serious pest control problem. I was being overcharged for utilities and was tired of it. It was a better financial choice for me to relocate further from the city which just so happened to coincide with the time my boyfriend and I decided to move in together. We were paying a lot in gas to go back and forth between his house and mine (he lived about 30 minutes north) which was also exhausting. We made a spreadsheet and in the end it turned out to be more affordable living elsewhere with him rather than stay with my roommates.
I’ve Lived with Others Before
I cannot stress how valuable it was for me to experience having roommates from a young age. I’ve lived in a dorm since I was 14 years old, and since then have lived in close quarters with others. I am well versed in compromise and living considerately. Despite being an only child, I learned how to share and be comfortable without privacy. I knew my bad habits and was familiar with those of others. That being said…
I was Comfortable with His Bad Habits
You cannot love someone–truly love them–unless you accept them fully, flaws and all. My boyfriend had spent weeks (months, really) spending the night at my house. We went to bed together, woke up together, existed together. I learned that he takes his work clothes off as soon as he gets home and throws them wherever is most convenient whether it’s the couch or the kitchen sink. He uses way more toothpaste than physically makes sense. He sees no harm in leaving nail clippings on the counter for weeks. I have come to learn these things and more–and I’m okay with them. I have bad habits too, and he can live with those.
Travelling is like a test drive for living together. You’ll be in stressful, confusing situations and have to see if you can make it out alive. My boyfriend and I began traveling together at an early stage (before we were even in a relationship, actually). We started with small road trips to full blow cross-country adventures. We argued, we got annoyed, and we had a great time. If you can survive being with a single person for a week straight (and I’m talking 24/7) then you stand a good chance of surviving a lease agreement.
I Trusted Myself
I am not the type of girl to rush into things. However, I think it’s important to be true to oneself. I could not come up with a single reason why this wouldn’t work. I wanted to move in with him three months ago, and I still want to today. I have not regretted my decision once. Yes, there’s always that possibility that it will blow up in my face, but I’ll cross that bridge if I ever come to it. I know it’ll be okay either way. I can’t let stereotypes get in the way of my life.
I just returned from Music Midtown in Atlanta. It was a weekend of Elton John, Drake, and Van Halen goodness! But, boy was it hot, and boy was it crowded! Luckily, I was prepared for the madness and knew just what to bring to make it the best weekend of my summer. Read on to graduate from newbie to festival pro.
If you’re going to completely disregard this entire guide, PLEASE DON’T DISREGARD THIS. I listed it first for a reason! Your shoes will make or break your experience, believe me. There’s always those girls at festivals brave enough to wear high heels. At the beginning you see them strutting their stuff through the crowds, tall and proud. But by the end of the night they’re the ones sitting in the grass behind the Port-A-Potties massaging their miserable feet and regretting their life choices. Don’t be that girl!
Hey, if you think you have stamina and wonder-woman feet, then by all means disregard my warning. But if you’re like most mere mortals and you don’t live in heels then leave the stilettos at home. Flats are always best! Sneakers, even better. Not to mention heels have the tendency to sink into grass which will leave you struggling to dig your beloved shoes out of the soil. Grass stains are not cute!
What to wear instead? I suggest comfortable, yet trendy, sneakers. Definitely not a new pair that means the world to you, because let’s be real: these shoes are going to get trashed. Converse and Vans work best, and can easily match your concert outfit. Just be sure if they’re white, you don’t want them to stay white!
I stupidly assumed that my credit card was going to be a valuable resource to me this weekend. This piece of plastic at music festivals is just that–plastic! Everywhere was cash only and I was left eating at one of the very few food stalls that took credit. Luckily, my boyfriend had enough cash for the majority of the day, but neither one of us were prepared. There were ATMs, but we all knew they were going to charge a 3$ fee and your first-born child, and I just don’t need that in my life. Save yourself the hassle and bring cash!
Most festivals allow you to bring in one unopened water bottle. They also offer some kind of free water, be it through a water fountain or a stand somewhere. And trust me, you’re going to refill that sucker 319083509385 times throughout the day. Not only is it hot, but you’re busy jumping spaztically against fellow music lover who are also belting out the lyrics to your favorite band, before you know it your water bottle is empty. Yes, the lines to refill can be long, but it sure beats the $5+ and hassle of buying new ones.
I can’t think of another place these bags are socially acceptable except maybe the 1980s. But at festivals they’re the hippest thing you can bring. They come in all kinds of prints to compliment your outfit, and they are the perfect size to carry all your necessities. Backpacks can get heavy, but these babies are so light and compact you’ll probably forget you’re wearing one. They also force you to pack lightly, which you will be thankful for a few hours in.
A Positive Attitude
The worst thing to encounter in a festival is a cranky person. Like, go home. If you’re going to do that just save yourself 100 bucks and go home. While in mosh pits, I came across so many people who were just 100% done. For instance, this one girl was trying to maneuver her way to the front to see her favorite artist, and another woman completely stopped her, screaming and hollering and generally ruining it for everyone. She even threatened to fight the girl! I mean come on. Yes, people who push their way to the front are annoying and rude, but your reaction is no better. A go with the flow attitude is a must. Yes, people suck sometimes, but this is your favorite band so don’t let them ruin it!
Let me know if you can think of anything else that would be useful or if you have any different experiences! Be safe, happy festivaling.